If I were to describe the difference between small talk and real conversation, I’d have two scenarios: we all walk around in invisible grey soundproof suits, on predefined and smooth parallel paths that never intersect but create a logical safe pattern v e r s u s hugging in the middle of the crowds, shrinking a tiny piece of space into a timeless photo memory of two vital energies, combined in utter serenity.
I am truly convinced that our true unfiltered nature is undisputedly amazing. We are givers if not manipulated by society into thinking that taking is the key to success. What if we find out that by being ourselves, we magically manage to connect on a deeper, satisfying level in the most natural and spontaneous way possible?
Is this a naive view? Stop thinking about the terrible exceptions out there and start thinking about your closest friends, think about your family, some people that you have met. Think about their weaknesses and strengths, their childish embarrassment, the playful nature that comes out when they feel comfortable or safe enough. Think about how beautiful they are when stripped naked of any label, social norms or roles imposed to them. How beautiful their souls are when they laugh spontaneously, talk about their dreams or cry defeated, even. Think about how they feel and react when you tell them you love them, you celebrate their accomplishments together, give them a sincere hug or hold their hand when they are sad, tired or sick.
Now can you honestly tell me that it is still possible to lose your faith in humanity or think that we are all evil?
What an enormous change we can make by choosing to spread love and care, instead of hate, indifference and harm. It is so easy to smile, so easy to help someone, so easy to make eye contact, so easy to really get closer with an honest, heartfelt “How are you?”.
Let’s go beyond age, gender, social categories, beauty standards and other excuses. Instead, let’s see the world as a large community of people with the same exact fundamental need: to be seen and appreciated for who they really are. The only way to find out is by asking and offering a cup of your time. Two human beings, same beating hearts, same sparkle in the eyes, same need of affection.
Take your time, fix the cracks, make peace with your heart, forgive yourself and the others, offer your body and mind enough rest and good quality time in your own company.
Interact when it feels natural, when you have enough energy and willingness. Do it when you feel calm and grounded. Do it when you can give something for real. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out and ask for a helping hand.
Let me know how it goes. 😉